Yet Another Instrument (of torture)

Mungo was a little late on posting this one (I do wish he’d do his own computer work), but I’ll have him know that not only did I plant the bulbs, the pot ghetto is cleared, the tropicals are shivering in the garage, and there’s a wreath on the door.  The fact that I haven’t touched the cello in four weeks is neither here nor there.  Winter brings hope. – MW


 

celloSo…She bought a cello.

I’ll just let that sink in a minute.

Maybe a little longer.  This is big.

_______________

Okay.  Clearly I have a few things to say about this.  I’m going to start with the obvious ones and work my way back.  I don’t even need to come up with them myself they’re so obvious.  The Girl brought up everything but number two and that’s only because she wanted some cash for the movies and didn’t want to kill the golden goose.

1.  She’s never touched one before in Her life.  In. her. life. Ever.  Not even in a music store. I think She stroked one in a Brooklyn apartment in 1992, but I could have got the story wrong.

2.  She is so on the wrong side of forty.

3.  Man that needs saying again.

4.  She goes out garage saleing to find a used pitchfork and comes back with a cello. That is some kind of mental jump.

5.  She’s gonna have to fight Him for it. He’s never seen an instrument He didn’t like. A lot.  She thought it was tough getting Him off the piano to get the first pergola built – She better start looking into landscape contractors.

6.  Look, I’m no gardener. I’m just the resident colorful character and occasional shot of premium content, but even I know that She has got freaking h o u r s  of work to do out there.  There’s 600+bulbs in the garage for God’s sake.  She bought them – She knows they’re there.  The place is covered in tropical bananas that ain’t gonna take kindly to seeing Santa and his reindeer ride by. Does She seriously think that screeching out C major scales for two hours every day is going to put daffodils in holes and wrap roots of elephant ears in burlap? (Yes I pay attention occasionally.)  Oh. And there is the little matter of….

7.  Her back. Oh yeah. It’s out.  It’s so out. That’s what you get for falling off a horse, breaking your sacrum and refusing to live a life of quiet desperation for the next eight years to keep everything in the hip department happy and cool.  Me, I would have totally been like ‘Where’s my point oh one acre with hot tub and infrared spa?  Where’s my weekly massage?’  Nope. 10 acres. 10.71 if you want to screw down the point, and I sorta do.  So back’s out.  Big surprise.  No sympathy.  But it does bring me back to…

8.  What the hell?

Her reasons.  As explained to Him after two glasses of wine and WAY too much YoYoWhaWha? interrupting my mid-afternoon snooze.

And don’t worry it won’t take long cause they are p a t h e t i c.

It was cheap, she fell in love, winter is coming, and, Youtube.

Oh and her nails are already short.

I am officially the only sane person in this house and I’m a dog.

And I don’t. plant. bulbs.

jack russell sleeping

mungo's paw


By | 2019-12-16T15:30:06+00:00 December 16th, 2019|

About the Author:

Marianne is the mother of two, wife of one and the voice of The Small Town Gardener. She gardens and writes from her home in the scenic (and exceptionally convenient) heart of Virginia's wine country.

3 Comments

  1. Paula December 17, 2019 at 5:24 pm - Reply

    Very cute, good job Mungo!

  2. Sara December 17, 2019 at 6:54 pm - Reply

    Thanks so much for the humor. HOPE YOU CAN ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS IN SPITE OF YOUR BACK, fORGET THE DAMN BULBS THEY WILL BE ON SALE NEXT YEAR. pRACTICE YOUR CELLO

  3. Susan Peterson January 13, 2020 at 4:18 pm - Reply

    Now I’m not only jealous of your garden but also of your cello! I’m obviously behind on my social media, lol. Hope you’re having fun learning to play it!

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